It is interesting to see you operate with no drugs in your system. No using coffee and chocolate to wake me up and stimulate my mind. No using alcohol to relax and escape.
Following a big night to farewell to the month of binges, the first day of detox I slept in quite late. I did a short 20 minute pilates DVD. I had a decent amount of energy. My ankle was sore and I was resting it. No real cravings.
The second day of detox I had less energy. I did a 40 minute pilates DVD and spend the day at home writing, and the afternoon and evening catching up with friends. I was distracted. I had a steak for dinner. Second day was fairly easy.
The third day was the was the worst. I got stuck in traffic and spent the day working reception for my Dad’s business. I still work for my Dad’s business about one day a week but I haven’t done reception in years. I have a new appreciation for what receptionists do. It’s tiring work answering phones. Seriously tiring. And we had live programs being aired so it there were frantic times. At 1pm the coffee man arrived. Beep beep bebeep beep… beep beep! Oh how I wanted one. Nope. Don’t give in. Green tea. Green tea. I was strong. I got through it.
On the fourth day of detox I woke up at 620am, full of energy. What is this? I wasn’t sure where that came from. I forced myself to get another hour’s sleep and then got up and had a fairly morning. But by afternoon I was exhausted. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. I was at my Dads for dinner and in the fridge was a block. A half-eaten block of dark Lindt chocolate. My favourite. Sitting there, begging me. Eat me! Eat me! And I knew that one piece wouldn’t do any harm. It would give me energy and fulfil the craving, satisfy the urge. Give me. Give me. But I resisted.
On the fifth day of detox (today) I woke at 747am, and I’m feeling pretty good. I google videoed a good friend in Brazil and ate a little tub of frozen acai pulp (Brazilian berry from the Amazon) which has a little guarana in it (I bought a big box of them yesterday!!) so I’m feeling inspired and getting lots of writing done. (Yes I know there’s caffeine in guarana…)
Today I am not craving coffee. I don’t feel at all like drinking alcohol. And although there are two blocks of Ecuadorian dark chocolate (you can get them in Aldi) in my fridge, I’m not tempted to open them.
What I am noticing most about not having toxins in your system is a calmness, a sense of being in a natural state of mind, which actually feels a little weird. Like the world has slowed down a little bit. And like my thinking processes and my actions are a little slower too. The worst thing is not having that drug-induced excuse. I’m used to having a coffee or a block of chocolate and using it to keep myself up very late night writing. But now it gets to 11pm and I’m tired and I go to sleep. I’m getting a lot of sleep. It’s kind of weird.
Five days down, twenty-three days to go.