Soon I am off to Europe followed by the United States, with a very big question mark surrounding my return date. I’m booked to leave 9 weeks from yesterday and be home just in time for Christmas… but I really have no idea what my future holds. Exciting as this sounds, when it comes the details, life in the 21st century can make preparations and decisions surrounding uncertainties a massive anxiety-filled pain in the butt.
From getting my scooter Provisional-license (if I don’t I have to do a 2 day Learner course again), writing 30,000 words towards a PhD, cutting out 100,000 words from my novel, finishing up projects at work, lecturing, marking, packing, preparing, and filling out forms. And as fast as my “to do” list gets longer, the decisions grow harder.
From the little things like “do I pay-out or defer the remaining 6 month phone and internet contracts?”, to the bigger things like “do pack up my little studio apartment, or should I try to find someone to sublet it?”
I hate decisions. I like making decisions in one grand sweep. It’s not always the smartest move, but neither are the choices made after days or weeks of tedious weighing scales.
I still have a couple of months, so maybe if I don’t think about it the answers and solutions will just come to me. Hopefully same will go with my “to do”s and “goodbyes”. I guess all I can do is my best, work hard, enjoying the moments along the way. Hopefully the future will take care of itself.
Anyway if there are less blog entries for a while, then you know why… and in the blink of an eye it will be time to fly!!!