These last few weeks I disappeared in more ways than from this blog. I’ve tried to put my finger on how it happened. It happened so slowly that like a frog in hot water, I came to realise it only at boiling point. It was too late. Some essential part of my “self” had gone.
Was it the incident in Krakow that led me to question my job in America? Did the massive cloud of uncertainty change everything I thought, felt and did?
Was it travelling with my best friend from high school? Did I return to the old clumsy insecure 17-year-old version of myself?
Was it that peak-time travel in Europe takes away the spontaneity factor? Booking and planning in advance sucks!
Was it my secret hopes that this trip in Europe might inspire a sequel to my South America book? Which, by the way, is still in editing, but slowly slowly getting closer to publishing 🙂 Was it the disappointment that The Universe didn’t bring me an exciting plot like it did last time?
Was it the death of my laptop – something I’ve become attached to this last four years? Leaving her behind in Rome was like losing my best friend. I knew the time was approaching, but without her I feel lost.
Was it the other aspects of bad luck that have taken me by storm – bad luck with credit card fraud, bank cards being cancelled, bag zippers breaking… little nuiances that add up to an air of downward spiralling negativity.
Definitely my accident was the cherry on top. Flying from a bike and ending up in hospital on one’s first day in the Greek Islands is enough to scare the life out of anyone.
As you can see in the photo, I am ok. Day by day I feel my strength, my “vi”, my life-energy returning.
Physically – my wounds are healing.
Mentally – my mind accepting the fate of my holiday (no sun and hence very little swimming), the fate of my leg (impending scars) and still various aspects of confusion about my life and what the heck I’m meant to be doing with it.
And hopefully soon spiritually. My “free-spirited self” that my best friend noted was missing from my facebook posts and photos, hasn’t returned yet. I’m hoping it’s on its way.
I think (hope) my recent dose of bad luck is about to change. My bank card that had allegedly been cancelled magically allowed me to withdraw cash. I received an email about the release of new Macs, so it was good I didn’t buy a new one yet. I’m alone (Lisa, my travel buddy, has gone back to Sydney), but I’m strangely happy to have total freedom and not be burdoning anyone else with my ailments. I moved to a new hotel in a nicer part of the island with a community-like feel and my own little balcony.
I am still having my moments where I feel down and depressed, exhausted, homesick, and impatient about my wounds healing. These are being balanced with moments where I feel relaxed and happy, enjoying the scenery and reading books. It’s an emotional roller coaster ride and I’m holding on tight hoping that, unlike my scooter ride, I won’t fall off!
Photo:
Nico – the dude in the picture with me – was the manager of our hotel. He was in a scooter accident the day after mine. We moped around together complaining but a few days later both felt a little better. Maybe it’s the rough roads, the lack of servicing, the lightness of a 50cc motor and smaller wheels, but scooters in Greece, I have learned, are not to be trusted.
