Ok I know that’s a shocking photo (it’s from a family celebration for my sister’s engagement last night which makes it even worse)… but I think it’s worth a laugh. And I tell you what, the chocolate semi fredo I’m licking is the very best dessert in the world… and today I could tell…
I went to my first bikram yoga class tonight and in the 40+ degree heat I had a revelation.
Mirrors are commonplace in yoga studios but the nature of bikram leads one to strip off to bare essentials and in front of me I saw the consequence of last night’s dessert as well as what I can only assume is a result of last two years of full-on writing, not so much exercise, and too much indulging on my one true love (and brain food as I tell myself): chocolate. Ok it’s not an absolutely horrible tummy, and the ad hoc pilates classes I teach has ensured it is still in a reasonably toned condition but I tell you what – it’s a hell of a lot wider than the 60cm waistline it once was… That was NOT my revelation. I know I’ve put on a few kilos since I finished full time modeling, and I really don’t think my little body complaints are what you want to read or what I want to shout out to the world.
My revelation came as the yoga instructor told us to love everything ourselves and treat ourselves with love. I looked at my belly and thought, hmmm how can I love this? And then it came to me. I CAN love it. I can love it in this moment – accepting that this moment that it is a temporary state. ‘Bikram will going to change everything’ I tried to convince myself, also vowing to cut down on excessive indulgences in order to morph my body at least a little bit closer to my preferred measurements.
Ok I know this all a very superficial rant but there is a deeper message to come…
In the car I drove in silence and let my mind continue down this stream of thought: the temporal states from which we experience our lives. That is, the temporal state of mind – how in every moment we can learn something new and change everything we think. And a temporal state of body – our cells constantly regenerating and, depending on our lifestyle, our body constantly changes for good or bad.
Then I contemplated our soul. Does our soul change? I’m not so sure. Maybe this is the only non-temporal part of us?
Half asleep as I write (this yoga is fricking intense, dehydrating, and well maybe after my 10 day trial I can let you know if it’s worth it…) I googled ‘temporality’ because I thought it was a word but my spell checker was telling me it wasn’t. Anyway wikipedia informed me that temporality refers to philosophizing about time – be it linear, circular or other… and how a temporal morality (temporality for short) refers to a moral philosophy based in the belief that “the ultimate commodity any person has is their own time (i.e. their life, lifespan, their time in the present) and they are free to spend that time as they wish as long as their actions do not impinge on (harm) another person’s time (via injury, theft, lies, etc.).” I like this.
Life is a wave that our soul rides: our consciousness simultaneously creates and experiences and we morph like the rolling waters – living in the moment and knowing that one day arrive at the shore. We may long for the safety of the shore but I think that it is the day we get there that we will reminisce the open ocean, the excitement of the unknowns and the metamorphosis we were experiencing in fear.
Getting to the point. We can change our minds and bodies in whatever ways we want in the moments to come but seeing as they are the way they are in the present we may as well embrace them. It’s about the process, not the result. We can love ourselves as we are today and plan for what states we want to be in tomorrow. I guess that means I should love my chocolate belly right now and (hopefully) enjoy watching it shrink in those massive yoga mirrors… 😛